Christmas & A Mess

Well, Christmas is almost over. And I have to say I feel a little mean saying that I almost want to sigh that it is. But, this year, like many, hasn’t exactly been the easiest. Sigh. Maybe next year will be better, I’ll have my own little place to escape to, maybe I won’t be sick, have to work the next day, and feeling so much of what I did this year. I don’t even know… Don’t get me wrong, it wasn’t a bad year. It was just a rough one.

I almost pains me to say that it’s almost been another year. Another year of some of the same mistakes, you know those ones that you think you will learn from, but never do, another year of those. Another year without them here. Another year of working hard and making choices that we will always question. But, you know, it hasn’t been all that bad. So, here’s my task for right now, before I complain any more, I must name 10 things I appreciate about this year:

  1. I graduated this year, May 2010
  2. I lived on my own, for the first time
  3. I had an amazing landlord
  4. I’ve made some new friends
  5. I’ve got a good paying job
  6. I’ve given up cutting this year
  7. I’ve been able to spend time with my family
  8. I paid my bills (mostly) on time, if not, I was more than willing to pay the late fee and always called to say it was going to be late
  9. I actually qualified for a credit card (SCARY!!) with my credit
  10. I got to watch my son grow

Not gotta lie, for some reason that was hard. 😦 I am not sure why it was so hard, but it was.

Sigh, so Landon’s dad is back in contact. But, you know it’ll be okay. I am trying very hard to be civilized. When I am struggling more than anything not to just scream and cuss and say everything I know… But, you know what it’s not my place. My job is to take care of Landon and that means being civilized with his dad, in case, he wants to have a relationship with him. AH! It makes me sick, wanna scream, and cry… Whatever, talk about stress. Sigh. Ridiculous am I!!

This Christmas was definitely a different one. Not a bad one, but a different one. But, this is the end of all of this… Sigh. I need to let it go. It’s a lot of small stuff. That I just need to let fall away. Or smoke away. Lol! πŸ˜‰

4 thoughts on “Christmas & A Mess

  1. High five on all the accomplishments!

    Personally I’ll be glad to see 2010 go too, I think 2011 will be much better. Or it better be!

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