Finally Lost It.

If you don’t want to read a rant and a poor pity me bullcrap paragraphs, DON’T READ! 😀 Simple as that…

I just want to sleep. This life is starting to get to be too much!! I am trying hard to hang on, but God knows I am at the edge of my rope.

Ryan’s stressed with finances. I am kicking myself all the time because I quit working at Teletech and it seems like I can’t find a job any where. We are barely making it and his next paycheck is going to get attack by his ex’s freaking child support! He misses his son and I can’t do anything about it.

Landon has been crabby. Some days him and Ryan seem to have a hard time clicking and it just overwhelms me a lot. 😦 I hate hearing Landon scream, but I hate seeing Ryan feel like such a terrible person all the time.

I keep getting emails and phone calls or bills everywhere saying we owe money. It’s all in my name. I have credit card that is kicking my ass. I got it to help build credit. But, in staying with the people in January, it got fucked over. February, the car got rolled. March, I quit working. April, are bills are kicking our ass. May, comes the child support.

I love my family–my husband, my son, our baby on the way— but, a girl can only take so much of this. I don’t have energy to keep up with this. I am enjoying my pregnancy, as I am not as sick. I can eat. I can actually do stuff this time. This time, I will find a job and work. But, I can only take so much of these ridiculous phone calls and everything coming from everywhere. I love my family and I wouldn’t change any part of it for anything. I just wish I could be okay with myself that I quit my job. I need to find a different one. I need to find a job NOW!! Or we’re probably be more in debt and screwed… Sigh.

Sorry people. I need to vent. A girl can only take so much and not break down.

2 thoughts on “Finally Lost It.

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