–When I turned on the computer a few minutes ago, this blog was going to be about something totally different. However, now that I have accomplish a whole one thing different, I am feeling a bit better.

You see, here is what I was going to begin writing about several moments ago, as the words danced through my head waiting to be struck out on these standard laptop keys–

Sigh. Work. Why is it that I dread it so much? Don’t get me wrong, I love being blessed with a job. Especially, one that I can do from home. However, who likes having to make phone calls to people and ask them if they are interested in something, you (personally) know nothing about? Sure, you have a script to follow, and yes, it does help. But, when they ask certain questions and you have not viewed, used, etc. said product, how are you supposed to respond? I mean, at least, we get paid for reaching our contact however, it’s so awkward.

See, I am not the type of person who can “sell” things to ANYONE!! I just can’t. I don’t like talking on the phone, I would much rather talk on the computer or face to face. And when I have to do X amount of work, with two little boys at home, and not a whole lot of down time, for myself, I wear thin. I was going to work just now because I have to make so many phone calls and I still have a lot of other stuff to do today–yet, I am so physically drained, all I want to do is sleep. I feel that if I, at least, get my feelings out, than I can say I did something.

Maybe it sounds dumb to some of you but, being at home all day saying, oh I did this and that with the boys but, you don’t feel like you accomplish all that much. I know it’s “the most important job there is” as I have been told multiple times. But, put yourself in my shoes–I have been working since I was 15 years old, I took some time off to go to school when I was pregnant and after I had my son. But, I have always been working. I have always brought in some sort of paycheck or something. But, now–please, please, don’t get me wrong! I love my boys and I don’t know what I would do if I was actually back at work. But, working from home calling people, trying to get them to want something… It’s just not my thing.

I would love to do something crafty or something that has to do with writing or anything else really. If someone needed papers–graphs, etc. made, I would love to make them from home. I don’t want to leave my boys but, making phone calls… It just isn’t my thing. Sure, I am going to school for my Associates in Psychology right now but, that doesn’t help me make money at this very moment. I am thinking about finishing up the program I have going with Penn Foster and maybe, if I can convince my hubby to let me, starting on a massage therapist degree with another school. I could get it done in as little as 6 months. But, I would have to trip to Colorado in order to get my license. But, it would be a start. I really don’t know what to do any more.

I went to school to be a nail technician and didn’t go in soon enough for the test here, locally. So, now I have to go out of town and that costs money. Plus, I did the schooling over 2 years ago. I am not sure if I would remember every thing. I am too scared to take that silly test because I don’t want to fail. I know the owners of the beauty school I went to and all the instructors were super easy on me because I happen to have a life changing event that had happened about 3 years before I went to the school. It sucks… I want to be successful somewhere. Ya know? I just feel like there’s so much to learn and I want to know it all. But, I don’t know what I can do now… In order to be able to help provide for my family.

I am going to look into a sewing machine here shortly, for multiple reasons. Maybe… Just maybe. Sigh. Something this week will help me figure it out. Man, I pray I figure it out! I don’t like feeling so useless and pathetic. But, a guess we all do sometimes.

—Well, done with my pity story.

And here’s what I am going to tell you about now. 😀 I feel good about myself. A little better than I was. Sigh. Not as good as I felt before I wrote all that, because as you write it all hits nerves. But, I am feeling better. I finally figured out how to change the silly time zone on WordPress. 😀 I’ve used it for how long—& just know figured it out. 😉 Oh well. I am going to find me a sewing machine, do some laundry, dishes–house cleaning, and try to get things looking good. I want to start on my step-son’s quilt and my husband’s quilt. So, I have to have a clean dining room for it.

Thank you readers for reading. 🙂 I love getting emails saying that so and so liked my post or so and so subscribed to it. 😀 It makes my day! Gets me all warm and fuzzy inside.

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