I am an unsure–I don’t know where life is taking me but, I am doing my best to be a good adult & take care of my kiddos, be responsible & make sure we pay our own bills, & be as realistic as I can be without making myself depressed.
I am a dreamer–I have gone to school to do nails but, I ended up not liking it; I’ve tried child care (& currently what I am doing) but, I often have trouble with like other people’s kiddos as I don’t feel they are as well-behaved as ours & I like to enjoy our kiddos & not have to fight other kiddos all day long; I’ve thought about being a mechanic–the idea of being a woman who knows about cars, I feel like I would be sexy–I imagine myself in overalls, with a sports bra underneath, & a bandana on; I’ve dreamt about being a masseuse–helping people feel better, getting all the sort muscles feeling better, being able to help people in need of physical therapy, etc.
I am impatient–with certain people. My mom could take a year to do something & I probably wouldn’t care (depending on what it was) but, if other people’s kiddos don’t do something or my husband takes forever… I get so irritated & I hate it… I have such a horrible time with double standards but, I am working on it. I wanted to be a model after I gained all my weight but, it’s not going to happen & I am okay with that. I wanted to be a photographer but, I am not sure–seems to be too many of them around. I’ve wanted to be a surrogate mother or a foster parent but, if I can barely handle babysitting some days–how would I handle being a foster parent. Ugh! I’ve thought about being a party planner but, the area I grew up in was too small to actually need a party planner–I wouldn’t EVER pay for one so, why would I be one if I feel like my services shouldn’t be paid for… So many choices yet who the eff knows. (At least one of my sister’s WAS there with me for a while so, she understand how I feel.)
Well, that’s enough thinking for now–I need food & the kiddos are driving me bonkers! Time to go wake up the husband.