Stuck in a Rut

Once again, I found myself pondering whether to write about a certain subject or not. It’s one if those subjects that I am sure many can relate to, as many have tried it but, it’s a touchy subject. Especially if it has to do with some people who may or may not be reading it.

Now, earlier this week, I was grumpy beyond belief about it and would have done a place the blame here and blah blah blah and we’re so picked on and everything is our fault and nothing can ever be their fault.

See here, the topic is living with family. Now, we live with my sister and brother in law. They helped us out but, renting a house with them and us living with them saves them money on rent plus, Mr and I do all that we can to make sure dishes are done. All the dishes and keep the kitchen as clean as we can. Which seems to have to he an every day task but, with feeding 7 people, it’s bound to be.

When we first moved in, I was blind to everything. My husband & I had just move with three kids, we were doing “fine” but, not our normal amazing marriage. We had our ups and downs but, we couldn’t ever seem to stay high for a while. But, I was blind to everything that seemed to hit Mr ‘s  nerves. See, there are three very strong people all living in one house. Three amazing people who all know what they want, how they want it to go, and… well, you get the picture. I am not that way. I watch kids for a living (and life) so, there’s no controlling exactly how things go so, I try to be more easygoing and relaxed. I am not quite 23 yet with 3 little men of our own (one stepson, haven’t met yet), I go about things slowly and what gets done, well, it gets done. & if it doesn’t, I try to shrug it off because sometimes, there’s nothing you can do about it. So, that’s how I live–pretty different from the other three adults here. But, it was causing some feelings of tension between Mr and the other two. I never knew what to do about it. My family would say talk to the other two about it and Mr would say it wouldn’t solve anything. It was so, ugh–confusing.

When we all first moved on, we had to think about several things when arranging the house–and that right there seemed to cause tension. Upstairs is everything well, minus the garage, the second living room, laundry/partial bathroom. Everything seemed to factor into where everyone would be–what time the kids woke up, couldn’t be too close to the other couple so you wouldn’t here the getting lucky of the other couple, the only bathtub being in the master bathroom plus no storage space in there, and so much more. Everything seemed like it was causing more and more issues. Just when things seemed to be okay, something else seemed to pop up–especially with a bedroom now being downstairs in the living room instead of in a bedroom upstairs. It seemed to be endless and a lot of venting to Mr. Feeling like things were just piling up and up and like a massive burden to my family we are living with.

Kids get up too early and are too noisy, kiddos stay up too late, I forget to shuffle laundry and have to shuffle it late (by the time they are ready to sleep), Mr begin gone 10 or so hours out of a day, dishes, food–there’s always something that seemed like it could rub someone the wrong way. Of course, as a parent, you’re more of a worry wart & if you are already one to begin with, it makes it even worse. So, my brain started thinking, how can we get out of here before things get worse, how can we (the boys and me) get more time with Mr–trying to fix everything all within the shortest period of time. I started thinking, tax return comes and we can… But, after really thinking about it, I realized that it would be mean, selfish, and how much worse it would leave things in the end. So, instead, I talk things through with Mr. We make plans for when our lease is up here and what life will hold for us in the future.

It’s amazing to see how far Mr and I have come. From fighting like teenage kids to sharing the same goals, enjoying some of the same tv shows, new foods, and so much more. We are both seeing things similarly–financially, emotionally, and so much more. I love it.

Although this living situation started off bumpy with Mr and me, we have pulled together and are working our hardest to keep from repeating the same things that can cause trouble and trying to help each other remember different things.

I definitely lucked out having the family I do–Mr, our boys, and those we are living with. If I had married anyone else, I know things would be horrible, if we had different kids, I like to think that they would drive everyone crazier, and if we were living with anyone else… not sure I want to imagine what it would be like. Just glad it’s the 7 who are here and that we can all make it through the rest of this year, hopefully with everyone’s sanity still ok.

It’s just one day at a time with the boys and Mr. Speaking of boys–all 3 are awake and Z is bouncing back and forth on my lap, I swear he’s trying to bruise my chest so, time to–OW!… run.

Happy football playoffs!

2 thoughts on “Stuck in a Rut

  1. I totally get how you feel. I’ve been there! In December of 2009, we moved 4 hours away from my family and in with Matt’s dad and stepmom so Matt could go to college & so we could get out of debt. We had to merge two house holds into one, and that was difficult. Very difficult. Plus both Matt’s dad and stepmom were…strong personalities and very peculiar about how things were done. I felt like I was always getting on their nerves and doing things wrong. I wasn’t allowed to let anything pile up, ever. I couldn’t rest until everything was clean to their extremely high standards, which was hard to do with a baby and a chronic pain disorder.

    Ultimately, Matt’s stepmom decided to leave his dad – months after we moved in. It created a lot of tension in everyones life. I overheard Matt’s dad saying their marriage failed because *I* couldn’t keep the house clean. Needless to say I was a mess the entire time we lived there! After we got married, my dad gave us the opportunity to get out into our own place up north. We found a small two bedroom apartment and moved out a few weeks after Matt started school. I wish we’d stayed longer at times, that we found a way to work it out with his parents, because we’d probably be in a better position than we are now…but then we wouldn’t have had Archer, and I would have gone insane lol.

    We did get out of debt (well; that batch of debt) so that was good!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s