Depression is something that I’ve struggle with since I was a kid and with PCOS, it makes it more likely that I will be depressed.
It came back swinging this last week and I got about mid-way point from rock bottom and could feel the self-hatred inside my head. It’s hard fighting with yourself when you have three little high energy kiddos who just want love and attention.
Yesterday I had enough and splurged on almost a years worth of high dosage Vitamin D pills and some Vitamin B pills for extra energy.
This morning I feel better, but I know they haven’t kicked in yet. Yesterday night I found three random skin bumps and was determined that they had to be stress hives, because the only other time I get them is when I shave with a crappy razor or use a bad kind of soap–which I’ve done neither.
Tightness in my chest this morning let’s me know that there’s still some stress inside that has yet to be relieved. But, with some exercise, medication and throwing myself back into my Bible Study (and lots of time with the kiddos and Ryan), I know I’ll be okay.
It’s been a couple of rough months and it all kind of hit this last week. So much stuff and a lot of it, no one will now, because it’s not mine to share.
But, this is mine–and it’s reality of life. Depression sucks. It can hit anyone at any time. Whether it piles on slowly or all at once.
I can’t determine if it’s from the last couple of months or because my subconscious (cause my brain is still in May) knows that it’ll be my little sister’s birthday this next week–and that means another one without her.
Whatever it is, I am thankful that I have my little troop of men to help me fight through it.
We’ll defeat it with vitamin D, laughter, hugs, time together–and enjoying that school is almost out, which means less chaotic mornings and more cuddles with cartoons. 🙂
These next few weeks won’t be easy, waiting for the pills to kick in, but I know it’ll be worth it.