Buzzed Insight & Fucked Up Humor

So, I changed my attitude and still felt like drinking. But, I didn’t drink because I was sad. I drank because I bought some “lingerie”, if you can call it that and I needed to be buzzed enough to feel sexy in front of my husband.

Crazy, yeah! I mean the guy has seen me push two kids out of my vagina, complete naked after a shower, I moon and flash him rabdomly, totally sober, but walking up to him almost naked, with crotch-less stockings on–that shit scares me. Explain that to me.

No actually, don’t bother explaining it to me. I know what it is. It’s those stupid lingerie pictures and Victoria Secret magazines that only show girls who are toothpicks and everything fits exactly how it “should”. You do see the picture before all the photoshopping

Well, Victoria Secret, I showed myself how wrong you are. I put these damn stockings on, covered up with some sweats until he got home. I had two beers because I wanted to be frisky and energetic. Husband got home and I waited until he finished some work stuff in the computer room. I walked into our bedroom turned the fan on to cool down, took of my shirt and threw it in the hallway, drop my sweats, and walked to the doorway (computer room is right across). I stood there with my three kids later stomach and I fed three babies breasts hanging put, I turned around and I shook my ass.

That’s right! Me! Not a Victoria Secret model. My husband has loved me since I had my first child and I was finally a normal weight. He married me when I was almost bald, after officially dating me for one month. He has been in a car accident with me, seen me puke of a porch because I got too drunk and pissed off at his ex, he has seen me birth and nurse our two youngest kids, he has seen me weigh and lose 50+ lbs. He’s still here and makes me feel like I look like a million bucks.

I am here to tell you to be adventurous in your marriage, do crazy shir, find the one person that loves you no matter what, and don’t settle for less. Love you for (here’s the important part) you!!! And shake what your momma gave you, sometimes. *wink*

You are beautiful, worth everything in this world, and you should find someone to show you that–doesn’t have to be a boyfriend, girlfriend, or spouse. It can be a friend. Just find people that show you that you are fucking perfect the way you are. And if you haven’t already, find Pink’s song with that title.

Cause you are!!

On a lighter note, enjoy some pictures I found while scrolling through my newsfeed and started cracking up at. Maybe cause I am buzzed, maybe lack of sleep. But, enjoy your evening. Be adventurous (doesn’t have to be lingerie), have fun, connect with people, be you and love yourself!

Buzzed lady out…

2 thoughts on “Buzzed Insight & Fucked Up Humor

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