I do not do this to be a pity me–or a woe my life sucks–because my life doesn’t. But I want to share with you what my body/brain are doing so the next time someone talks about a mental illness, you can understand a little more of what they are going through.
I went grocery shopping with Z and talked with my mom on the phone. My anxiety was calming down until I started loading the car with groceries.
I have to stop comparing.
I see people building businesses, going to school–following dreams and I feel like I need to do more.
But in reality, I am running on fuses most days, until I cuddle up next to my best friend every night.
Dealing with fleas, kids that hide homework, working odd jobs, and even though I can’t keep up, I feel as though it’s not enough and I need to try and do more.
Realizing that I am prioritizing what I need to. I quit my job in December because I was giving my all to work and had nothing to offer the boys or my marriage. I am doing what I need to to be home and suck up all the time I can with them–to keep them safe and fed.
It’s not what I had planned or where I thought I’d be, but I wouldn’t trade it.
