Having Faith

2 days after Christmas, I had enough of my job and I quit.

I had taken our youngest in to Urgent Care and he had pneumonia. It has been sickness since I got back from vacation in September and I was already in trouble with attendance at work and didn’t want to deal with it any more. So, I pulled the plug.

I’ve been trekking along since, doing Uber Eats and Uber Rides to help make ends meet.

Part of me quitting was making myself push to have more faith in my Higher Power. I have always believe that He is there for me, but actually having faith–that was another story.

It’s been ups and downs, but my marriage is better and overall, life is smoother.

I’ve been the most blessed when I let everything go and just trust.

Examples include…

The boys and I out doing Uber Eats runs and trying to get the money Instant Transferred from Uber and the funds being put on hold. I had a negative balance in the bank account and now the money I needed was not accessible. I called Mr. to see if he had any ideas. Then I called my mom and my sister, bawling on the phone. I felt horrible and desperate and like a total loser. As I was on the phone, an older gentleman came over and asked if I needed help. I told him thank you, but no. I was getting it covered. I was on the phone when he came back and asked if I needed money or…? He said he was the owner of the building, the people just rent from him. I explained my money was on hold, paycheck comes in tomorrow, I was on the phone with family to get money for gas. I just need $5 in gas to get home.

He came back and said he paid for $10 and pumped it for me.

Another lady came over to see if we needed money. I told her no, but thank you. I get paid tomorrow. My money is just on hold and I just need to get home. The gentleman said he was getting us gas, she thanked him, and headed off.

Needless to say, I bawled some more. The owner told me not to cry, we’ve all been there. Merry Christmas and Happy New Year.


Later that night, my friend/roomie brought home an assortment of Legos from work and gave them to us. Needless to say, the boys had a blast.

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Earlier this week, I was doing my first day of Uber Rides. It was my last ride before going home. I picked her up a little ways from our house and drove her where she needed to go. She was talking the whole way and I loved it. She was super friendly and just so quirky–I couldn’t help but love her company.

As we were driving, she ended up offering me a job. I don’t know if it’ll go anywhere–I did call her on Monday and sent her my resume, but who knows if it’ll go anywhere. Even if it doesn’t, it was a memorable experience.

I just have to keep reminding myself to keep the faith. It’s not always easy and most weeks I have no idea how we’re going to make it until I sit down and write out the budget and oddly enough, we always seem to come up with enough money to keep going.

We haven’t cut the giving we do, our little give back to the world, and I don’t plan to. I feel that keeping them going is believing that we will make it, one way or another. 2018 will be the year for a wonderful marriage, a stronger faith, and a more beautiful life for my family. ❤

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Buzzed Insight & Fucked Up Humor

So, I changed my attitude and still felt like drinking. But, I didn’t drink because I was sad. I drank because I bought some “lingerie”, if you can call it that and I needed to be buzzed enough to feel sexy in front of my husband.

Crazy, yeah! I mean the guy has seen me push two kids out of my vagina, complete naked after a shower, I moon and flash him rabdomly, totally sober, but walking up to him almost naked, with crotch-less stockings on–that shit scares me. Explain that to me.

No actually, don’t bother explaining it to me. I know what it is. It’s those stupid lingerie pictures and Victoria Secret magazines that only show girls who are toothpicks and everything fits exactly how it “should”. You do see the picture before all the photoshopping

Well, Victoria Secret, I showed myself how wrong you are. I put these damn stockings on, covered up with some sweats until he got home. I had two beers because I wanted to be frisky and energetic. Husband got home and I waited until he finished some work stuff in the computer room. I walked into our bedroom turned the fan on to cool down, took of my shirt and threw it in the hallway, drop my sweats, and walked to the doorway (computer room is right across). I stood there with my three kids later stomach and I fed three babies breasts hanging put, I turned around and I shook my ass.

That’s right! Me! Not a Victoria Secret model. My husband has loved me since I had my first child and I was finally a normal weight. He married me when I was almost bald, after officially dating me for one month. He has been in a car accident with me, seen me puke of a porch because I got too drunk and pissed off at his ex, he has seen me birth and nurse our two youngest kids, he has seen me weigh and lose 50+ lbs. He’s still here and makes me feel like I look like a million bucks.

I am here to tell you to be adventurous in your marriage, do crazy shir, find the one person that loves you no matter what, and don’t settle for less. Love you for (here’s the important part) you!!! And shake what your momma gave you, sometimes. *wink*

You are beautiful, worth everything in this world, and you should find someone to show you that–doesn’t have to be a boyfriend, girlfriend, or spouse. It can be a friend. Just find people that show you that you are fucking perfect the way you are. And if you haven’t already, find Pink’s song with that title.

Cause you are!!

On a lighter note, enjoy some pictures I found while scrolling through my newsfeed and started cracking up at. Maybe cause I am buzzed, maybe lack of sleep. But, enjoy your evening. Be adventurous (doesn’t have to be lingerie), have fun, connect with people, be you and love yourself!

Buzzed lady out…