It has been a rough day. I self-sabotaged and got myself all worked up and wanting to skip work. I wanted to call out, work from home, something. But, I sucked it up and went in.
Work was quiet, so I started watching TV and then figured I would try to do some more self help reading—or self growth. But, let me tell you, after getting a little too intoxicated this weekend, that was a mistake.
I started reading and instantly just felt so drained. I watch some more Netflix, posted a few other blogs, but honestly, my soul is having an off day.
They happen from time to time. Even with being on “happy pills” I still have I am not myself day here and there. Today was definitely one of those days. Continue reading “Depression is a B*tch”
Here we are–Monday morning. Sitting at the day job, watching a TV show because there’s nothing to do–not yet–but, I’ll find something soon.
I’ve been trying to do some work on my mental health and self growth. But, I hit this part in life where I realized I was trying to fit myself into this mold of what I thought I had to be and what companies I needed to be with. My friends are into makeup, weight loss, etc. But, you can’t market something that only half your heart is in.
Saturday night I had a few drinks and finally realized that I’ve been missing something in my soul–whether it’s sharing life here, being able to create, reading a book for self growth, or something else. So, I am going to attempt to reset my mindset as far as “what I need to be” and go after “what I want to be” and “what I want for my family”–like #futureboards tells you to do.
Goals for the future so far:
- Get my weight back under control. I still have 60 lbs from E that I need to lose at least some of it. My weight is an issue now that I had preeclampsia with E.
- February 2021–we’ll be out of the apartment we’re in. My goal is get find a house for my family to buy, but if nothing else, to find a rental house. With COVID, we need a yard for the boys–a way to get sunshine. Depression is real!
- Keep writing in my prayer journal–each one has been answered so far, but I wanted to keep at it. I am good at verbally praying with things are rough, but I want to keep doing it to improve my life and my family’s life and not wait until we hit rock bottom.
Good things are going to happen for my family. At the beginning of 2020 I told myself that I would make the best of this year regardless of COVID–so, I am gonna do it. Little by little, 2020 will still be a good year for my family and for any of my friends I can help.