Book vs Blog Post(s).

I set out this morning thinking I was going to write a book, but honestly, I don’t even know where to start–blogging is so much easier. Believe it or not, I didn’t think about how much work goes into writing a book–planning it out, researching, writing and rewriting.

I started researching it last night and when I started writing about my struggle with depression this morning. But, as I was writing, I realized that I am being much more critical of what I write than if I were to just pour it all out here, so maybe this isn’t my topic for a book. I don’t know yet, but I want the world to know that depression is not the stereotypical person you see on a TV show. I am going to try and do this in parts because my journey, what I have learned about it, what it’s really like–it’s a lot to take in, a lot to get out, and it’s not something you can sum up into 1,000 words or less.

I am more of a word vomit person than an edit, plan, and execute. I want it to be raw and real and I worry that if I make it a book, I won’t finish it or get the right message across. But, I also worry that if I do blog posts no one will want to read through all of them and I really want to make depression less of a stigma–I want it to be real and less alien to everyone.

I guess now is when I go back to my roots–pray for guidance and that whatever I am meant to share comes out, no matter where I share it.

Depression is a B*tch

It has been a rough day. I self-sabotaged and got myself all worked up and wanting to skip work. I wanted to call out, work from home, something. But, I sucked it up and went in.

Work was quiet, so I started watching TV and then figured I would try to do some more self help reading—or self growth. But, let me tell you, after getting a little too intoxicated this weekend, that was a mistake.

I started reading and instantly just felt so drained. I watch some more Netflix, posted a few other blogs, but honestly, my soul is having an off day.

They happen from time to time. Even with being on “happy pills” I still have I am not myself day here and there. Today was definitely one of those days. Continue reading “Depression is a B*tch”