Re: 2013 Resolutions & Loser Ways

Today I am learning. God teaching me some hard lessons.

It’s really is true. God doesn’t put you through more than you can handle. At the end of last month, I took on two projects at my freelancing job. Little did I know what I was getting myself into. After several attempts to understand the formatting and finally understanding it (most of it) today but, still feeling very overwhelmed, my boss shot me an email thanking me for come on when I did but, asking if I needed to be doing other stuff because I was making little mistakes. However, some were mine—while others were not. But, I was given another chance. So, I have this next week to just keep going what I’ve been doing. I made myself a checklist today and I am going to hold myself to high standards (like I usually have) and prove that I can do it.

In a way, it was a blessing in disguise. I wanted to cry because I was feeling like a horrible loser not being able to do to everything I wanted and needed to do but, God has blessed me with an amazing husband to pull me back to reality. Someone to tell me they love me, that I am not a loser, and that I am over extending myself. I would drive myself to hell before I ever quit, if it wasn’t for this man.

At the time that this was all going on, I was behind on everything and overwhelmed. I have been able to eat, get boys in bed, and shuffle laundry. Ryan did a load of dishes for me and had Landon tidy up. I know I can do this now. I am done over extending myself–or at least going to try to be done. I know have my Sundays empty and I can enjoy football evenings a lot more now.

I may not always see God at work when things are perfect but, I am beginning to.

If you had asked me last year if I thought any of my dreams (or goals) would have been completed, I would have laughed and said no.

My 22 New Years Resolutions for my 22 years alive were written on December 31st of last year. They included
1) Find out what we are having
2) Downsize, ALOT!
3) Move to Seattle
4) Get out of debt/more financially stable
5) Have a healthy baby
6) Figure out if we’re gonna do home or public school
7) Take the kiddos to fun places (zoo, museums, etc.)
8) More date nights with my hubby
9) Get a stronger marriage & get to know my husband more
10) Find a hobby for myself, something that I will enjoy doing (massage school, arts & crafts, etc.)
11) Start saving for a house
12) Get back down to my pant size after I have baby
13) Enjoy my kiddos & hubby
14) Plan/take a vacation
15) Potty train Landon
16) Eat healthier
17) Get my family & I exercising more
18) Try a new dish once a month
19) Try some seafood & hopefully find at least one I like
20) Get tattoo (with my hubby/our tattoo)
21) Knit/crochet my first item (& finish it!!, key thing)
22) Meet my hubby’s side of family

We have completed more than I could have ever imagined:
1) We found out we were having another handsome boy.
2) We got rid of enough to get moved–twice in 2013.
3) Ta-da! We did it! Almost didn’t make it this year but, we did!!
4) By the end of the year, we will be current on ALL bills and paid off our couches.
5) We had Mr. Zyren.
6) Still leaning towards home schooling but, haven’t decided quite yet.
7) We went to the park ALOT more. Once Ryan’s shifts get switched to nights, I plan to take one day where we go have a fun adventure.
8) We have had more movie night, more cuddle nights, more Madden nights, & planning date nights.
9) I have learned a lot about him in the last few months and our marriage is stronger than ever!
10) I have found a hobby–blogging.
11) We will start saving in the next 5 years–although we got a new house twice so, that does count. ­čśë
12) I’ve dropped weight!
13) I love time with my family so much! All the boys. They each have some unique activity that I love doing with each of them.
14) Planning a vacation for next year. Although, we did get some time off work when we first moved here.
15) Landon is totally potty trained!
16) We have started eating better. Salads, lots of water, apples, etc.
17) We walked this summer/fall.
18) I don’t know if I succeed with this goal but, it was fun to try.
19) Nope–not yet.
20) Soon–probably our anniversary next year.
21) I found my yarn this weekend.
22) I finally meet his mommy.

If you had asked me if I would have gotten all this done this year, I would have laughed and said, in my dreams. But, we’ve come so far and we’re only going to go farther!

Week 3: 5 Years From Now

This evening, after reading a wonderful post last night, I sat down to read Fit to be Tied–two of my older sisters had read the book. Sister 3 let Sister 4 borrow it. Then, Sister 4 thought it was so good that she gave it to me to read and then give back to Sister 3. Well, I still have it but, Sister 3 & I are now roommates. (Funny enough.) I pulled it out this evening and began reading it. A lot of the stuff they mentioned really hit home–highs in marriage being high highs and lows being low lows. Well, that’s what we have but, our highs are getting higher and our lows aren’t so low and they definitely aren’t as frequent–like the people in the book. But, one thing they mentioned was that they had similar goals, beliefs, etc. So, with “Week 3: My Life┬á5 Years From Now” waiting for me & the similar goals in the book–an opportunity presented itself. So, here it is…

Mr. will you do something with me. Will you make a list of where you want to be in 5 years?

After some back and forth about if I wanted in-depth or not–which we finally agreed that I wanted really, really in-depth because of the details I wanted. But, we have similar goals! And I loved being able to see that. Below are our lists. Some are similar and others are things we agree on but, not what was on our mind at the time. So–here it is.

Mr’s List

  • 32 years old
  • Living in (blanked out) Area
  • Mortgage first home
  • Own 2 vehicles
  • Try (maybe once) for a girl (maybe)
  • Same company different title
  • Own a PS4
  • Still be married to (wife–he put my initials)
  • L adopted
  • See J on summers (he visits us)
  • Not so fat
  • Alive still

And now for my list…

Unsure’s List

  • 27 years old
  • Own/Paying off our house
  • Boys schooling
  • Me working from home (solid career path)
  • Mr. pursuing/already in high position IT job
  • Vacations each summer
  • Discussing a baby girl/foster/adoption
  • Playing Fantasy Football w/family
  • Able to give Mr. (and boys) his own “game/football room”
  • Owe a SUV/minivan
  • Degree in journalism
  • (blanked out) followers on (blank)
  • Has his & hers tattoos
  • Funny hair colors be back
  • Doing more DIY projects
  • Pinterest ideas complete

Our conversation for there lead to these conclusions:

  • We’re both over moving
  • We both want to be paying off/own our first home
  • Mr. will have a better┬áhigher up job (one that he definitely deserves)
  • If we’re going to have a baby girl, it’ll be before I am 30 years old, as I don’t want to be in my 30’s pushing out kiddos–call me selfish but, I don’t.
  • We both want to be able to have more than 1 car.
  • Mr. likes the idea of me working from home.
  • He liked the game/football room idea.
  • He will be getting a PS4 for our next anniversary–SURPRISE!
  • We are both excited to get L’s adoption papers in order soon
  • We would both like to loss some weight/get healthier
  • We are both determined to still be married to each other

And for now, that’s about it. There is Week 3, the beginning of Fit To Be Tied, and the uphill journey our marriage is taking. A beautiful sight in many ways to see. Now, it see how true this holds in the next for years. But, it will be revisited–next year, I believe that we will be mostly down with some of the things on our list. And I hope to write a new list, for the next 5 years.

And with that, I bid you all a good night–Z has declared a random fuss and I need to get cleaned up for tomorrow’s chores. Boys will be up early and I would like to be well rested. So, good night to all–& I wish you all a sunshine-filled & happy ┬áSunday tomorrow.