Since You’ve Been Gone…

It’s been 3.5 years… Almost 4. I feel like crap sometimes because it’s been so long and I’ve managed to make it this long. But, you know, I am come to realize that…

It’s not that it gets easier to deal with or you stop thinking about it, you just learn how to live with it.

Well, more later about this, I guess. I gotta get ready for work and I could use a smoke before. Plus, got the library and need to throw some food together for Landon.

Unpredictable.

Courage is the power to let go of the familiar. So, I guess it’s time to be courageous. :-/

My life as I know it is changing. And with that I will determine who I want to be and what I want to become. The key is learning to move on to things that are not so familiar. But, could be better. It’s not that I want to leave all that I love and know. But, when things happen to alter your life. And you suddenly realize that you might be going down the wrong path, you must learn to grow up. When you become a parent, it becomes all about your kid. Everything you do, is for them. It’s not about how you might want to sit around and party all night long or whatever, it’s about how your kid needs a bottle to go to sleep. A diaper change to avoid a diaper rash. A toy to play with. Β It’s no longer about you, it’s about the other little one, innocent, adorable, sometimes a pain in the butt, little man. πŸ˜€

When you meet someone who can cook and do housework–don’t hesitate a minute–marry him. πŸ˜€ I love looking at wedding pictures. πŸ˜€

He he. I get to look at all my friends getting married and I am excited for them. They look so happy and everything. But, at the same time, it gets old seeing everyone happy all the time. It gets old. Don’t tell me that I just need to calm down or relax or that give it some time and someone will come around. I honestly, I don’t wanna hear it. You might be okay with waiting for someone right now. But, at this point in time, I don’t wanna. Lol. I know it should retarded and I am probably throwing a little kid fit. But, at the same time, I am okay with just being me. I don’t have the energy to put into a relationship. Or the time. I don’t want one at the same time, because I also often see that people get divorces, not trying to make you depressed, but eh… That’s kinda how I am a feeling. πŸ˜€

Some think it’s holding on that makes one strong; sometimes it’s letting go. And some times love, means you do just that. So, I am letting you go.