Mind Boggling

Headache is thumping but, a quick little update… & to clear my head.

House is almost done getting fixed–the drain is in the driveway so the garage and basement won’t flood again. The handyman is here to fix ALOT of stuff around the house–two drawers, siding outside, a door stop, a bunch of stuff downstairs, the fan and light above the stove–let’s just say, I am definitely not jealous.

Bought hubby a ticket to go see Paramore–my sister & her hubby are going to it as well so, mommy & the boys get a night to themselves. Going to clean up the house, bathe the boys, bedtime, dishes, and shower–hoping that will take most of the night. But, if not, I always have this lovely place or some Madden to play.

Got a writing job yesterday. Wrote an article last night on a bunch of stuff I knew nothing about until I wrote it. Got another article sent to me this morning and I got it written up this morning/afternoon and it’s one it’s way to going to the client.

Sister made PB cookies last night so, I’ve been munching on those–definitely takes me back to our childhood days–the good times. Not the times when I was a little terrorist to her. I like to pretend that those days never existed–even though my brother in law is here to snap me back to reality sometimes.

Been working on a budget and bills that we’re going to pay off. It’s an exciting thought when we look at payoff our debts–our car (my mom bought it for us), student loans (we still have over $30,000 but, we’re about to pay off one of my hubby’s), pay back my sister and brother in law, pay off the credit card, and a couple others. & then we’ll be back to saving money–and we have awesome roommates this time. The last few roommates we had when we were married… We ate through over $3,000 in savings and the credit card–it was depressing. When we started getting close to being able to pay it off and caught up again, I got laid off. So, we’re back to being the rockstar couple we are.

Bigger news–Hubby quit WoW a couple weekends ago. We haven’t had much of the internet but, he decided the night that he went to the concert with my brother in law. We’ve been doing a lot better with each other. We’re happier as a couple. We are able to do more as a family. The boys get to play with him more. I get to see him more. We actually go to bed around the same time. He’s not exhausted when he goes to work. He’s around and I love it! It’s a happy day!

Well, time to go find the load of laundry waiting for me in the dryer, do some dishes, and probably find some caffeine–got another 5-7 hours to be awake and I am already wiped out from today.

Happy Tuesday–thinking about finding a Halloween craft to do with the boys shortly.

What kind of crafts do you do around this time? What kinds of food are appealing to you? You got a craving?

Flood Goes Up

Here’s to life. A life of little wonders. A life that I never thought I would be living. I have a kid the same year I become a legal adult. I haven’t graduated high school yet, but I will this year… I am a single, teenage mom, and I never thought I would be here. Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy my life, but ya know, I miss some things. But, I’m looking for the little wonders.

He put himself to sleep today. All by himself. It was awesome. I am looking forward to more days like this. However, I know it’s not gonna happen as often as I would like.

You still haven’t gotten back to me and I thinking you won’t by the time I come up… Do I care? No, not really because it means that I don’t have to try so hard for you to see him. I still need to try, for his sake. But, if you don’t do your part, then I won’t know if I need to schedule time for you to see him or if I can just keep the days where they are filled with everything else. I am thinking about the days that I’ll be up there & I think about how much I have to decide to do when & you don’t make it any easier… I hope that you know that.

Here’s to a life of trials. Of those hard times when you don’t think you can take it any more. You clinch your teeth so you won’t do something stupid or hurt anyone. You hit pillows and leave screaming babies. Here’s to doing it all on your own. To being nagged and trying to figure out what to do next.

I would never have guessed that I would be a single parent. Let alone, that it would be so hard. I am not totally sure how I am gonna be as a parent. But, I’m gonna try hard to make everything work out because I want Landon to have a great life! I am not sure how this is gonna work out, but I hope it’ll be great.

Single… I never would have thought that I would be a single parent. I am not sure how I got here. Well, I am sure we all know. Choose the first guy who would go out with me, because I didn’t think I could get anyone else. Hurray for self-esteem. I wish that I had been a little smarter with my choices, but I am not gonna lie, I love my baby boy. I can’t imagine life without him. I honestly don’t think I would have lasted this long without him… It’s ridiculous to think that I am putting some much of my living life or not in his hands. I think that I really shouldn’t do that to him just in case I screw up and make him hate me and then he goes with his dad… I am not sure I could handle him wanting to live with his dad, or liking his dad’s girlfriend or wife someday. Is it mean to not want him to? I don’t know.

Why is it that girls are sluts and guys are studs or whatever after sex? Why is it that guys get another girl in a matter of minutes, while girls are pregnant and without someone to tell them they are amazing and other things that are nice to hear when you are dealing with that type of situation? I don’t understand it. I really don’t.

I am sick of seeing stupid television shows that have to do with romance. AH! I hate it. Everyone I know is dating someone. Sure I may know you and maybe you aren’t. But, I am talking about those I talk to a lot. Those who are right there. My sisters have always had boyfriends, not saying that necessarily a good thing. But, seriously, my friends and sisters have always dated someone and those who haven’t… They have someone know. Don’t tell me you know how I feel, because you don’t. I don’t wanna hear it. I just want something in life to show up know. I want someone I know who is single and has kids or whatever, I want someone who is like me to talk to. I don’t have anyone who understands.

Thanks for reading my venting. & I am sorry if I offended you, but I needed to get this out. Until next time my friends.