Cleaning up for…


This was the mess I got to clean up today. Landon kept asking why I was cleaning up, what I was doing & I thought about it before I answers this time & told him it was for daddy. Mr. cleaned up last night before he watch his “gross” movie & I went to bed. I was cleaning up for him & me. We have a movie date night planned. & I would like to be able to lay on the couch and enjoy it with him. So, I cleaned up. Meant to give the boys baths (they are overdue & the tub is finally fixed) but, I am exhausted & paranoid that one would get hurt if I did. So, it’ll happen tomorrow.

One thing Mr. also did was comment about the dishes–how I’ve been doing them all but, I was able to tell him sis 3 actually did some this last week but, it felt good knowing that the housework goes noticed now.

He would notice it before but, it didn’t seem to be as big of a deal.20131025-183917.jpg

HAPPY NEWS: (just so I don’t overwhelm your inboxes/phones) I have a new job coming in next week, it’s going to be a nice chunk of money for us! I am excited. It’s amazing that we have been blessed with a few companies giving me the opportunities to Freelance for them. It’s really helping.

And one last bit that I was going to do in another post… Below is something only Mr. could get away with.


And now time for some Ninja Turtles & McDonald’s.

After Earth…

Quite recently, my husband rented 2 movies (not talking about the 2 he rented tonight, mind you) but, the last 2 he rented…

One was (as you can probably guess from the blog title) After Earth. This movie was one that was filed with adventure, emotion, & power (or so I thought). Yet, one individual made a comment about it feeling…

…drawn out, slow, and long…

First off, if a movie is slow, it’s going to feel long/drawn out. Now, let me say, I mean no disrespect if that is how you feel as well but, let me explain to you that I felt connected to it, more than I wanted to.

Let me explain–the movie features a boy & his father who get stranded on Earth, after it has been deemed toxic–now, if you haven’t seen it, please go watch & come back so I don’t spoil it for you. Once the son leaves to go find the tail end of the spaceship/airplane/vehicle they were traveling on, you begin to see flashback of the past–realizing the boy’s sister saved him. She put him in a dome and closed it, telling him to stay in it. However, she goes out to fight the creature and is killed. His father then blaming him for it–now, my story doesn’t involve a creature. It doesn’t involve getting stranded on an island. My story is a “simple” one…

6.5 years ago–almost 7… My sister, my best friend, & I were driving home from youth group–I was driving. It was 9 days after my birthday & 8 days after I had gotten my license. We reach the top of the hill at a flashing light and we stopped. My friend, Skot, took my phone & was messing with it–inside story, that I’ve yet to want to share with many people but, we were all laughing. And then–nothing. I remember feeling strange, unable to breathe, I began panicking, trying to get free. I began fighting hard and felt the cold on my foot and little piece of something I couldn’t quite make out. When a voice finally came, I was in a full on panic state. I couldn’t remember anything from after leaving church. Couldn’t remember driving, who I had taken where, etc. Nothing. Once I began putting the pieces together, with the fireman’s help, I began screaming at the top of my lungs because my sister wasn’t talking to me. I couldn’t see her with the blood and glass all over my face. I couldn’t see anything. I was cold and shaking and couldn’t breathe. I asked the fireman to please tell me it was all a dream, just a really bad dream. He told me he wished he could but, that I needed to breathe. I began screaming more and more not knowing if I had dropped my sister off or not. Sobbing uncontrollably and wanting to try and get free but, was told if I pushed, I could hurt them. I had to lay them while they put blankets over us, broke windows, & tried to find my sister after they hadn’t seen her the first time—after a long time, they got me out & I had the worst experience in the hospital, of my life.

To spare you the heartache & trauma that my family & I experienced for the next 24 hours, my sister was deemed brain dead. My best friend was put in ICU and died just over a year later.

To this day, I miss them both. My mom, like anyone normal, blamed me for a while & because I blamed and hated myself, we had a horrible relationship. I began staying at friend’s houses until curfew, I was tired, or my mom wasn’t home.

After years of hard work, we have an amazing relationship but, much like the boy & the father, we had our differences. It is still a hard time & I often like to try to avoid family during that time as, I still have a hard time with it. But, I believe that is why I appreciate the movie the most. It makes me feel a little more normal & a little less freakish.

Two quotes from the movie stood out to me—

Fear is not real. It is a product of thoughts you create. Do not misunderstand me. Danger is very real. But fear is a choice.


Fear is not real. The only place that fear can exist is in our thoughts of the future. It is a product of our imagination, causing us to fear things that do not at present and may not ever exist. That is near insanity. Do not misunderstand me danger is very real but fear is a choice.

I believe these–from watching movies, etc., I have learned to be afraid of the dark & the monsters that may lie within. Yes, even at my age, what could be in the dark–but, never is, scares me more than you may ever know.

My son has learned to be afraid of the dark and about monsters from Curious George.

It is a choice though–of what could be there or could happen. Just as the accident has put a fear of losing someone else in me or being hit again–I’ve been in accidents since but, thankfully, none that bad. And I pray none ever that bad again…

Now, I do feel like this is a horrible way to end this but, my eyelids are finally feeling heavy. My body is finally relaxing. & again, I am feeling a bit less freakish & realizing that I am a little bit normal sometimes. So with that, I wish you a good night and a better tomorrow–apologies for the raw emotions but, I enjoy the freedom to share them with you & just get them out.

Night fellow readers–a better tomorrow is just around the corner. Happy Fridays!